One of the rules that we try to live by in the house of Kovaleski is, “if you say it out loud and it still sounds like a good idea, then it is probably ok to go ahead and do.” Say for example, before John perfoms the Piledriver made famous by Stone Cold Steve Austin on his younger sibling Luke, he would say to himself outloud, “it think it would be a good idea to perform the Piledriver on Luke in which case would necessitate him being fed through a straw for the rest of his life,” he would probably, but not certainly depending on Lukes attitude, decide it was not a good idea. Of course, as with most good ideas, hindsight is 20/20. Recently, if I would have taken the nanosecond it would have taken to say to myself, “it is a good idea to take this bite size 3 meat hot pocket that just cooked at 425 degrees farenheit for 20 minutes and has molten cheese oozing from the sides like volcanic lava flowing down a Hawiaiian back road after a Mount Kilauea erruption should be shoved into my mouth whole and chomped like a hungry lion snapping down on a gazelles neck,” I probably would have saved myself not just a little pain, but possible future skin grafts. After further research (hey, I know people who get research grants to investigate much weirder things), I found out that the inside of a properly cooked hot pocket is just slightly cooler than the surface of the sun. I am quite sure that if just a fraction of the GNP were allocated to hot pocket research, we could a almost certainly find a cure for the common cold as well as the true cause of global warming. The Manhattan Project would pale in comparison with the findings that would almost certainly be discovered. I think this year while duck hunting, instead of using those disposable hand and foot warmers, I will shove a few Hot Pockets in my hip waders. Maybe a few double cheese pizza ones and a steak fajita, this would serve the dual purpose of life sustaining heat and munchies while hunkered down in the boat. Who would have thought that the Hot Poket would turn out to be such an all around super food.
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October 17, 2008 at 11:04 pm
hickey074
what an excellent rule to live by. i could have saved myself a lot of trouble by doing exactly that. “going down a steep hill on rollar blades with no sense of balance sounds fun!” my face found otherwise.
let me know how the microwaveable-meals-shoved-down-neoprene-pants idea goes. if you can come up with some way to avoid hot pocket to bare skin contact, you might want to look into patenting it. as a hunter, having hot meals as accessible as making essentially the same motion as simply zipping up your fly would be more than welcome. if you can’t avoid the skin contact, however, it might get messy. i definitely wouldn’t eat it.